One Time, Badly Read online

  "Yes, mom. Of course he knows, I've been telling him every day for a month. He was supposed to pick me up an hour ago."

  "Do you want to stop by his house? Maybe something happened?" Her mom was still trying.

  Obviously, these thoughts had already passed through Cecelia's mind, but she didn't want to start snapping at her mom. It was Christmas morning and she was just trying to be helpful.

  Max knew this year was important. It had only been three weeks since her grandfather had passed after a long-fought battle with cancer and she really needed him today. Her grandpa had been the heart of their family and his passing still didn't seem real to her, it just wasn't something her mind seemed to be accepting. She felt like she'd walk into her aunt's house today and see him in the kitchen, fixing himself a drink and making sure no dish went un-taste tested.

  But she knew that his absence today would make it more real than it had ever been before. Christmas without him would be unbearable, and she was counting on Max's hand in hers to get her through the day. She knew this and she'd tried to justify Max's lateness with it.

  Normally, they'd split their time half and half on holidays. They'd do a few hours celebrating with each family and it always made for a really nice day for the both of them. This would be the first time they'd be heading to just one location, and Max had said that his mom totally understood, but maybe he'd wanted to squeeze in just a little more time. She could understand that. But as 15 minutes turned into a half hour and now into the hour range, the justification was wearing thin.

  "Let me call his mom," It was a last resort and she'd been avoiding it, but she didn't seem to have much of a choice now. "Either way, I'll be over by 12."

  "Alright, sweetie. Drive safe, I'll see you soon!"

  Cecelia hadn’t wanted to call Elaine Maylor. Not for this reason. She really liked Max's mom and was comfortable reaching out to her, but it almost felt like snitching. She could just hear Max now, annoyed and accusatory, making her feel like a child for bypassing him in this way.

  But, it was him who had brought her to this and there really was a part of her that was worried about him. He'd hadn't been acting like himself lately, but blowing her off on Christmas was next level douchebaggery and she'd like to think that there had to be a good reason for it. She cursed Max as the phone rang. Max's mom picked up after three rings.

  "Good morning, Cecelia. Merry Christmas, honey!" Mrs. Maylor's voice had a warmth to it that always made Cee grateful that this was the woman that Max got to call home to. He always claimed to have an uneventful childhood, and she supposed Elaine was due credit for that.

  "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Maylor! I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm having a hard time getting in touch with Max and I was wondering if you could put him on the phone?" She did her best to keep her voice cheerful, she didn't want Max's mom picking up on her annoyance.

  "Oh, Max left here about 40 minutes ago. He said he was on his way to your place, we sent a few gifts with him in case he forgets and leaves them in the car. Maybe he stopped at the store," Curiouser and curiouser, Max.

  "Ok, thanks. I'm sure you're right," She wasn't about to tell her that she'd called him nearly 20 times, and had texted him a fair deal greater than that.

  "Would you mind shooting me a text if he doesn't get there soon? I'm surprised he isn't answering his phone," She winced at the hint of worry in Mrs. Maylor's voice.

  "Yes, of course. I'm sorry for bothering you!"

  "No bother, just please let me know when you get in touch with him. I'll try him too, but he's more likely to answer for you than his mother," she laughed, but Cecelia could hear a distinct lack of humor in it. She was going to kill Max for doing this on Christmas morning.

  "Will do! Merry Christmas again."

  "Merry Christmas, Cecelia."

  Cecelia clicked off of the call and let out a groan. She was already so tired of this day and it was only 11:40 in the morning. She tried Max ten more times, which seemed excessive on top of the past hour's efforts, but she was hoping to avoid the part of this day where she had to cancel her own plans to find him. He didn't answer.

  She was about to call her mom and tell her that they'd just have to meet everyone at her grandma's, she couldn't very well just leave without him when he could be lying in a ditch somewhere. She would just have to make the two-hour drive herself once she was able to track down Max.

  Her phone buzzed as she opened her recent calls to scan for her mom's number. It was Max.

  I hate to do this, but I feel like shit. I think I'm going to have to miss today and get some rest. Call me when you're back so I can give you your gift. Love you, Merry Christmas

  She didn't even text him back. Screw that.

  She shot Mrs. Maylor a quick text just letting her know that she'd gotten in touch with Max, and fought back tears as she carried her parents' presents to the car. She bit into her lip as the battle was lost, feeling the December air chill her tears as they rolled down her cheeks.

  When she walked into her parents' house, the smile fell from her mother's face.

  "Max isn't coming. I don't want to talk about it, I just want to go."

  "Alright, honey," and her mom wrapped her in a tight hug, bringing forth another set of tears. It was easier to stop them here though, with her dad in the kitchen whistling a tune over hazelnut coffee and her sister bouncing towards her in what appeared to be an entirely new outfit.

  "Cecelia Scott, turn that frown upside down! I look like a million dollars and in just a few hours time we'll be elbows deep in grandma's sour cream cake."

  Sedona wrapped her in a tight hug as well, whispering a low, "Screw him, Cee. We'll do an old school Christmas, just me and you," in Cecelia's ear.

  She squeezed her little sister back, thankful to call this house, filled with these people, home.

  Cecelia spent the day catching up with family, eating the same Christmas meal she'd had since she was child, and laughing with Sedona. Although everyone had been feeling her grandfather's loss and plenty of tears were shed throughout the day, it turned out to be a really great Christmas complete with a light coating of snow falling as they drove home listening to Christmas songs on the radio and singing along in loud, awful voices. By the time she'd said goodbye to her family and headed home to her apartment, she was almost thankful that Max hadn't been there. It was nice to feel like a kid again for a few hours.

  She should've just stayed over at her parent's house. Maybe then she wouldn't have reverted immediately back to Max's forgotten girlfriend the moment that she stepped into her apartment. All of the laughter died and she felt wounded in a way that she hadn't allowed herself to process that morning.

  Max didn't call her that night, his promise forgotten somewhere throughout the day. Instead, Cecelia curled up in her bed and finally allowed the tears to flow freely. She turned her phone on 'Do Not Disturb' and hoped that at some point over the next few hours Max would find himself frantically leaving voicemail after voicemail on her phone for a change.

  It wasn't until the next night that Cecelia saw Max. He showed up at her apartment, looking tired, gift in hand.

  "I'm so sorry," when she met his eyes she saw a quiet panic in them. "I don't even know what to say."

  "There's nothing you can say. I can't believe you did that to me. I waited here for an hour like an idiot, so excited to give you your gift and now I don't even want to see you," she didn't open the door wide enough for him to enter, gave him no indication that he was welcome.

  "Please, just give me a chance to explain. I think I got some kind of 24-hour bug, I can't even remember yesterday. I didn't leave my bed," she was happy to hear the stress in his voice. She'd spent the better part of the day worried that he'd shrug it off, assuming that he'd be forgiven. He understood the severity of what he'd done and it was thawing her.

  "Well, that's not true because I spoke to your mom and she said you left your house at 11 to come over here," she met his stress with anger.

&n
bsp; "I left at 11 to get cold medicine and it took me a half hour to find a convenience store that was open and then I waited for 20 minutes in line just trying to pay for it," he was rubbing his hand over his face and through his hair, but his voice had taken on a calm.

  Her anger had given him an opening. It was something he'd seen before and knew how to handle. Maybe she should've gone with sadness, he always had a more difficult time working his way through that.

  "And you couldn't answer your phone just once during your whole expedition? Couldn't just send me a text so I didn't think something happened to you? I called your mom, Max. I just don't get it."

  "I didn't realize you were calling me. I had my phone on silent and it was in the passenger seat. When I got back in the car and saw that you were freaking out, I sent you that text," he was trying to reason with her and it was ridiculous.

  She'd realized at some point during the day, when she was overthinking everything and trying to picture the conversation that she was having now, that nothing he could say would make this okay. There was no excuse or explanation that would make sense or justify making her feel the way she'd felt yesterday morning. So her plan was to see if he seemed genuine. If he really appeared to be sorry, then she would move past it. The words 'freak out' turned that on its head.

  "Freak out? Seriously?" she moved to close the door on him. "I think you should go."

  "Cee, I'm sorry, just wait!" His voice was on the rise. "I didn't mean to say that. I'm just trying to tell you what happened."

  "And I'm telling you it sounds like bullshit, but I'm not going to fight with you about it. If you say you were buying cold medicine for an hour then I believe you. Why would you lie about something like that," she shot him a look now. "I just don't want you here right now."

  "Cee, please. I know that what I did was insane. It was messed up and it's not fair to you, but I missed you. I haven't been able to get out of bed for two days and I just want to be with you. I have your gift and you're going to love it, I know you will. Can I please just come in?"

  "I'm just so mad at you," she leaned against the doorframe, letting her arms drop from where they had been crossed against her chest.

  "I know. You should be, but do you think we can try to move past this?" he gave her a small smile. "For the rest of our lives, I'll be the idiot who ruined Christmas. Isn't that bad enough?"

  "You got that right. This is not a forgive and forget type situation. If I forgive you now, I reserve the right to bring this up forever, in every argument for the rest of time."

  "Deal," he took a step closer to her now, making it so that she had to crane her neck to meet his eyes. "Can I please come in now? Pretty please?"

  "Alright, come in. As much as I was hating you, I missed you yesterday."

  "I missed you, too. I'm so sorry."

  "You can't help that you got sick. You just need to stay on top of your phone, that was the biggest thing."

  "Got it. No more silencing the ring tone. Now, will you open your gift?"

  "I'd be happy to," and she reached out her hands then, letting her first smile of the day spread across her face.

  Max had managed to get her a gorgeous gift. It was a small diamond pendant, the kind she could wear every day no matter the occasion or outfit.

  "Oh, Max! I love it," she lunged into his arms and squeezed him, reveling in the warmth that she'd missed yesterday night.

  "Turn it over," his smile was excited and it sent a surge of happiness through Cecelia.

  There, on the back of her beautiful new pendant, was a capital 'M' inscribed into the gold. It even looked like Max's handwriting.

  "Wait, did you write that yourself? How did you do this?" It was so thoughtful and she'd spent the past two days feeling so distant from him that felt tears coming to her eyes at the sight of it.

  "I didn't inscribe it myself, but I gave the jeweler a sample of my handwriting. I wanted you to have something different, so it wasn't just another piece of jewelry."

  "It's perfect. I love it. Can you put it on me?" She quickly unhooked the clasp and handed the necklace to Max. She couldn’t wait to have it hanging from her neck, his crooked little 'M'.

  She gripped the pendant tightly in her hand and leaned in to kiss Max.

  "Your turn!" she reached for the fancy envelope she'd be waiting to hand him.

  "What could it be, my girl Cee?" He shot her a wink at the rhyme, to which Cecelia jokingly rolled her eyes.

  "You'll have to open it up to find out."

  Max ripped the envelope with gusto, his eyes lighting up when he pulled out two lower level tickets to Friday night's Knicks game.

  "No way! Juice, thank you!," He wrapped her up in his arms. "This is awesome!"

  "I know you've been wanting to go," she couldn't hold back a proud smile.

  "I have been. You're coming with me, right?"

  "If you want me to, you can bring one of the guys if you'd rather do that. Totally up to you."

  "You're coming with me, Cee."

  The tension from their earlier argument erased, Cecelia warmed up two mugs of hot chocolate and spread out a small plate of Christmas cookies for the two of them to share.

  It was difficult to lose faith in someone when they'd given you nothing but reasons to trust them for so long. It was so easy to feel the way you wanted to, even when your head is telling you to keep an eye out, something just doesn't seem right.

  Cecelia had ample time off between Christmas and New Year's Day, most of which she spent on the couch reading or watching TV. It was so nice to just hang in her pajamas all day, shower, and crawl right into bed with a fresh set of PJs and not a care in the world. It had been so long since she'd had more than a long weekend to relax and, though she could feel herself going stir crazy at times, it was glorious.

  Lou had to be in the office for most of Cee's break, but she often stopped by for a glass of wine and to catch an episode of whatever Cecelia was binge watching that day. She inevitably had already seen the episode, no matter which season of which show Cee was on.

  It was at 9:30 pm on Tuesday, December 30 when Max let himself into Cecelia's apartment to find Cee and Lou, two bottles of wine deep, giggling. Cee couldn't remember if they were laughing at the TV or one another, but she was pretty sure it didn't matter. Cee looked hopefully at the bag in Max's hand, praying there was enough food in there for she and Lou to share. They were in dire need of some sustenance.

  "You guys know that college ended last year, right?" Cecelia let out a scoff at that as Max headed to the kitchen with his mystery bag.

  "And what exactly is that supposed to mean, Mr. Maylor?" Cee was slurring only slightly, but it was all in the eyes with her anyway. The second any amount of alcohol hit her system, her eyes started to drift.

  "Snuggled up on the couch, drunk on a week night? Just feels like I've seen this scene before," Max's voice traveled from the kitchen into the living room. The sound of plates hitting the counter and the paper bag unrolling was music to Cee's ears.

  "You know what, Max? I think I've seen that shirt you're wearing before too. One too many times, if you know what I mean, but I wasn't going to bring it up," If it was one thing Lou could be counted on to bring to the table, it was a comeback.

  Cee clapped her hands in glee, letting out a high-pitched laugh at Max's expense. If Lou had a biggest fan, it was undoubtedly Cecelia Scott.

  "It's called an oldie, but a goodie, Lou. Look it up," Max carried the plate of food out to them now, two glorious hamburgers and an entire plate of fries and onion rings.

  "Max?" Cee's mouth was hanging open in disbelief. "For us? Really?"

  "I got you covered," he turned back to the kitchen for two glasses of water, placing one in front of each of them, and shot Cecelia a look. She took a sip from her glass, feeling better already.

  "Max, I know that I've never told you this before and I really hadn’t planned on it if I'm being totally honest, but I do love you. I always have," Lou was speaki
ng over a mouthful of fries, sincerity shining in her eyes.

  "Thanks, Lou. Love you, too," Cee could see how amused Max was by all of this and she hoped he could enjoy this night with them too now that he was here. She watched as he bit into his own burger, piled high with more condiments and toppings than she ever bothered to keep track of when he ordered out. For whatever else it lacked, Central really did put out a good hamburger.

  This night had taken her back to the million times that she and Lou had split a bottle in their dorm room or their apartment and got that giddy kind of drink that makes everything funny. She never laughed like that anymore, and it was rare that Max cracked a genuine smile, let alone laughed out loud at something. She wished that Joe were here, or that she'd thought to pick up some of the crappy beer that Max always seemed to drink in college. Anything to bring him back even if it was just for an hour or two.

  Cecelia thought that if she tried hard enough, she could convince them all that they were back at school, just for tonight. They could pretend that they were avoiding assignments and that, if they wanted, they could all just skip class tomorrow and not move from the spots they were in now.

  2015

  January

  When the New Year finally had come and gone, Cee found herself at 7:00 am, struggling to pull it together for work. She was dressed, her hair pulled back in a tight pony tail because there was absolutely no way that she was going to be able to put up a fight against it this morning. She was considering just forgoing the whole makeup ordeal as well, but when one look at the dark bags under her eyes was enough to change her mind.

  Max seemed to be drifting in and out of sleep in the bed behind her, tossing and turning. Cecelia finished up with a light layer of makeup and gave herself a once over in the full length mirror she had hanging on the back of her bedroom door.

  In the dim lamplight she looked passable. She gave her ponytail a tug and straightened out her sweater before giving herself a nod. This was as good as it was going to get today.

  "I love when you do that," Max's voice was deep with sleep. Cee whipped her head backwards to find him propped up on his elbow, a hand rubbing at his bare chest and a small smile on his face.